Love at First Sight...

Love at First Sight...
Lanvin Happy Mini Pop Bag

Thursday, September 3, 2009

And so it begins…

So, last night I felt kinda’ sick everytime I moved. I finally went to bed around 3am. Why so late? Hell-o, now you know I just got my cable hooked up yesterday and like a child on Christmas I was up all night playing with the channels on my tv. Could I actually understand all of the channels? Heck no! It did not matter that I could not understand more than half of the channels I was just happy to have cable.

Waking up is hard to do…or it should be…

So, of course I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning…what time did I get up? Around 6:30 am. Why? Because I am crazy and for some reason I usually always wake up this early. What do I do that early if I do not have to go to work that early? Dumb question to ask ME….of course I do what I do best, I surf the internet, skyped and check my emails.

The earlier the better…

Um, so you would think with me waking up early every single morning that every single morning that I actually wake up I would immediately get in the shower and get dressed and get that out of the way so that I am not rushing out of the door when it is actually time for me to leave. So did I actually follow my own advice this morning? Definitely NOT. So of course next thing you know it was like 45 mins before it was time for me to leave. So like always I...showered, painted my face, flat ironed my hair (actually today I didn’t have to flat iron my hair but I did plug in my flat iron just in case my “do” needed a bump or two), put on my clothes, grabbed my laptop, keys, shoes and ran out of the door.

Did I make it on time?

Of course I did! I like to get to work atleast 45 mins ahead of time. So I actually leave an hour before I am scheduled to arrive. And it is about an 8 min cab ride to my job. Only 8 minutes why not walk? That’s a dumb ass questions if anyone was thinking that. Now you know if it takes 8 mins in a car it is about 45 mins on foot. Sure would be great exercise and I would return back to the States so super sexy…yea I know, but I have to build up to that kinda’ exercise. I think eventually I will begin walking and or get a bike or a cute little Vespa.

Blah blah blah…

So I arrived to my job. Of course and I was starving. I did not eat before I left home. (and it’s not like I really had anything worth eating at my apt anyway) so I was so super hungry. I arrived at work too late to catch lunch. And I didn’t feel like walking to the store and I didn’t want to have to deal with the stress of actually trying to decipher what a menu says based on the photos that are provided. So I decided against eating. I figured if I actually did take that 45 min walk to and from school everyday, yea I would be so super sexy. However, if I just starved myself and not ate at all or very little I would still be just as super sexy when I return back to the states. And its so much easier and less painful to just starve versus walking up and down mountains and hills.

There is a GOD and he loves me...

So, I arrived at my job, took off my shoes put my bag in my closet area and grabbed my lap top and headed to the lounge. There on the coffee table was a box of rice bread and freshly brewed coffee. I was so friggin’ hungry it was like the gates of the heavens opened for me and I glided across the floor as soon as it was offered to me. Now that I no longer had hunger pains I could now successfully set up my laptop whip out my paperwork and pull up my facebook page. Now, why am I on the job on my facebook page? Duh, my facebook page is set up as my homepage and whenever I turn on the internet it comes up. So whether I want to be on that page or not, I am automatically forced to go into it. All I have to do is reset my homepage. Yea I know. But I don’t want to…

Say what??…

So remember I was saying that there was rice bread and coffee? Well, I had a piece of the rice bread (small of course, because I am working on my sexiness) and I had about 2 cups of coffee and 3 glasses of water. Before I knew it I really really really had to go to the bathroom. Not remembering that there are no “western style” toilets in the bathroom. I wait until the absolute last minute and made a dash to the little girls room. I grab the toilet tissue (there is no tissue in the stall you grab it from the outside and then go into the bathroom stall). So, I get into the stall, and of course, there is a squatter toilet. What in the world is a “squatter toilet?” Well for those that are not sure or do not know. A “squatter toilet” is a old fashion toilet where you stand with your feet apart and you squat down as if sitting but holding your weight up and you urinate over the in ground toilet. Yes! So, yesterday when I use the bathroom I had on a dress which was simple enough right? Well, today not so much. For some crazy reason I had on a pair of pants.

You know that feeling when….

It seems like you never have to go to the bathroom bad enough until you actually walk into the bathroom, put your key in the door or begin taking off your clothes. So, yes, this happened to me. I knew before I got to the bathroom I really had to go. But all of a sudden as I close that stall door behind me and try quickly to wiggle out of my pants the urge to “tinkle” becomes overwhelming and unbearable. I thought I was in the clear and said "whew" to my self. Next thing you know I feel a warmness all over my back side. And I of course think “oh hell to the no!” I have pee’d all over my friggin’ panties and spanx. So of course I have to take off all of my clothes to take off my soggy panties. Any anyone who wears a spanx knows what I am talking about! So here I am standing absolutely butt naked in the stall. Now wondering whats dry and what am I going to do now.

Thank God I know God…

Thank God the only thing that was tragically wet were my panties and my spanx so I put back on my top and bottoms (trying not to drop anything in the “squatter” and also trying not to dip my foot or pant leg into the “squatter.” I get dressed and grab my soggy undergarments and wash them out in the sink.

Stick it in your purse?...

Um, it would be very easy and less embarrassing if I had a purse to stick my soggy undergarments into. Of course, I did not carry a bag into the stall with me. So, after I washed out my undergarments I had to carry them back upstairs with me. Now, it wasn’t obvious I was walking around with panties and spanx. I did a tight roll and with them so no one could actually tell what it was.

What next?...

So, after all of that, I of course drank another 2 glasses of water because for some reason, I was so super thirsty today. And next thing you know it was time to go.

Manhattan girl style…

I packed up my laptop, grabbed my bag, discreetly placed my undergarments in my bag and changed from my flip flops into my 4 inch heels and ran out of the door. Okay, not ran, just swiftly trotted. I caught my taxi and fluently said the name to my apt building and was off. The taxi guy and I made small talk. Well, bless his heart he tried to.

Why is it that way…

So, of course as soon as we turned the corner to where I live, I got insanely hungry. And I I was feeling shaky and light headed so I literally ran to my apt (okay again, please don’t envision me actually running full force) more like I took long strides and swiftly walked to my apt and immediately heated up a cup of ramen. I am so over ramen. Now I could have gone by the store to get something or I could have ordered something. Again, this would have been too difficult and I just didn’t feel like it. Am I still hungry? No not really hungry but I just wanted something else. Not sure what but something else. Maybe I’ll just chew an Altoid or have a cough drop.

This is it…

Nothing exciting happened today. OH WAIT…I am sure you may be wondering well what happened with the many men who confessed their love for me last night? Did I see them today? Well, funny you should ask or think this…actually the one who slapped me on the butt. I did see him today. Well, atleast I think it was him. He went to say “hi” and I did a quick “hi…anneysayohhhhhh” and trotted up the stairs to the lounge. Everyone else that I saw said “hi shaylaaaaa.” And that was about it. It wasn’t weird and or embarrassing or awkward. My boss told me she was sick because she drank too much last night. I was glad that I didn’t have to be to work too early this morning. I probably slept off half of my liquor. Other than that nothing else went down.

Alright well…

That will be all for today. I am going to dig in my purse to see if I have any snacks, peppermints, chewing gum, cough drops or something to snack on.

Until next time…
Smooches

No comments:

Post a Comment